Grief is an experience not many can understand or comprehend. It may be easy for some to overcome and for others the pain may feel unbearable. Over the past few weeks in dealing with it personally I’ve understood that. I know I have struggled with grief personally for years and recently with the loss of my grandmother, I’ve restarted the grieving process all over again and believe me it’s not easy.
Misunderstood is the word I would use for anyone who is dealing with grief. Many can’t necessarily relate without actually experiencing loss and there are times some still can’t relate even when they experience it, simply because everyone is different. There is no signature way to grieve. I am here for those who feel misunderstood or lost from the feelings of grief—you are not alone. To relieve some of the feelings you have of being misunderstood by other people whether it’s family or friends, there are ways to overcome this obstacle in a healthy, peaceful, healing way. The biggest tool I’ve used is writing. I am a writer so it comes easy to me but even if you are unlike me and not a writer, this tool can still be helpful in healing your heart. I keep a journal and write a variety of things to express myself, whether it be letters, prayers, thoughts or poems, I write whatever I feel will help me in that time of need, when I am looking for some sort of healing within.
Many are more open to pouring out their heart onto a page than to a family member, a friend or even a therapist. In these moments you might even feel that your family or friends don’t understand you or understand how you’re feeling or how you’re coping, this can also help with those feelings as well. Writing can be your therapy and your own healing, you can take time and write out the thoughts you try to express to your peers and instead of expressing them vocally, you can write it out. If your grief is new, like mine, it may feel a bit overwhelming, those feelings are completely normal. There are no rules for how to write about your grief or loss, this is your own personal healing, do exactly what makes you feel comfortable. The first thing I would suggest would be to get a journal. It can be a plain composition book, a regular notebook or it can be a fancy one with glitter and letters all over it, it’s your choice, your healing. When you are writing, do it at your own pace, if it gets to be too much and too emotional to handle, take a break and go back to it later. There is no timestamp on how to deal with loss, with grief and with death. Only you know that and don’t let anyone tell you different. We all grieve differently. If there is one piece of advice I would give before closing, its definitely that you’ll be okay and you will get through this tough time, you might even feel better as time heals this wound, but one thing to know and understand whether you have experienced it or not, you will never get over it, and that is okay.
– Marquita Davis